So far the nausea I have been experiencing has been controled by my anti-nausea meds, my hair has not started coming out yet, altho it is still a little early for that to start happening...geez, bald and 109 lbs. that is going to be a great sight...better get a couple pair of large cute earrings. Actually I have started making a couple of hats - just in case. As with everything else, no one is sure if my hair will come out or not, probably they say.
Thank goodness Tuesday I made a huge pot of homemade chicken noodle soup and baked a cake, yellow cake and chocolate icing - yum! so at least I have homecooked food for a couple of days...Steve tries but you can only eat so much frozen food and it has been a long time...longer than we expected...we expected the miracle that one round of radiation and chemo would at least shrink and slow the cancer, not the wait to let my body recoup and then a round of IV chemo. I will be honest with you it takes every ounce I can muster to get thru each day. I am so tired of being "sick", I play by their rules and still get little results...these are no doubt some of the hardest days of my life.
As we go thru life we are always complaining about something, a bad hair day, the weather, our parents, our mates and kids the high cost of gas and food, etc. I wish I had saved all that energy and enjoyed my life more in the moment, not put up with a lot of the bullshit I did...oh, don't get me wrong I have had my good moments also, we all do no matter how bad we think it was, remember there is always someone out there who has it a lot worse than you can imagine. Even today as I am fighting to have a little better quality to the time I have left I am going to embrace all the good and love around me...I am going to be like a cat curled up in the sun basking in the warm rays...I will cherish every minute I spend with my darling husband and sweet little dog...I hope my family and friends do not stop coming or calling as right now I draw energy from the love you give. I have not given up the fight but it sure is a hard one to fight day in and day out.
Remember to be grateful for everything you have been blessed with, tell those you love how much they mean to you, yes they know it, but we all like to hear it!!! :)...don't let your fear that someone is going to die stop you from still being a friend, remember being a friend sometimes is just being an ear, you don't have to put yourself out and offer to do something you know you don't want to do in the first place. And PLEASE do not make promises you are not going to keep, we have enough disappointments to deal with.
Sorry to tired to continue right now, but thanks for listening!!! this has been good for me! :)
Health, happiness, peace & love my friends...May God smile on you today!!! :)
