dehydration is my enemy...one of many.
Yesterday I feel like I made up for not being able to eat a lot recently...I have found that yoplait yogurt will settle when other things don't...plus it is good for "us" during our chemo, the Shepherd's pie I made the other day has been very yummy...however strange it may sound if I think I can eat it I try, especially for protein. I have lost so much weight that any gain will help, at my last weigh in I was 109 lbs. so I really would love to gain a few pounds. I always hear everyone wanting to lose weight, but believe me a few extra pounds can really help if you find yourself in the position I am in. When I got sick at first I weighed 148 lbs., then when the cancer came back I weighed 132 lbs, now 109 lbs., so for those of you who think you need to lose weight please keep enough to help your body fight illness or disease. I never thought I would get pancreatic cancer, let alone think it would return after surgery,14 months later.
I am getting my day before chemo jitters, I guess everyone gets nervous...the uncomfortable stick of the chemo needle(spike), the saline, steroids, anti-nausea meds, "the big boss chemo"...now just sit and wait for the bag to drip into my vein, then one last saline bag to flush...now home to collapse on the sofa and feel like crap for a couple of days. Yeah! I get to repeat this vicious cycle 6 times this go round.
Okay, enough pity party...yesterday I was able to clean out the fridge, no big deal for most of you I know, but for me it took hours after my many breaks...but I finally got it finished, Steve is great and will do anything I ask him to do, but dumping the fridge isn't his strong suit, so it is just easier to do. Then I cleaned up the kitchen, put dishes in the dishwasher and even managed to do two loads of laundry before the fatigue caught up to me. As long as I pace myself and take breaks I can get quite a bit done, it is surprising how much you can do if you just don't give up...no matter how hard, just don't give up, giving up is not an option...
Janie has enjoyed me being on the computer, she has her own special chair that she lays in to be close to me, sometimes she insists on laying on my lap but this morning she is stretched out belly up sleeping. I think somehow she knows that I feel better if I am on the computer every day...Maybe I need to figure a way to move computer in the living room so I could have better access on the bad days...hmmmm???? I need to talk to Steve about that, hmmmm??? Gosh it is wonderful being married to a master craftsman, if I dream it he can make it happen, so maybe there is a way near the sofa, where I could still recline and have the keyboard on my lap...sort of a redneck laptray-laptop...lol I may have to give this some serious thought.
Time to go eat something, had a strawberry yogurt around 2am, but need to eat and take my morning handful of pills and then do something. On days that I can I must do something. Please take a moment to be grateful for every thing you have been blessed with, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you and how much you love them and how glad you are that they are in your life, forgive the petty stuff-reach out you may be surprised. Enjoy the day don't waste it with the what if's. Be good to yourself you deserve it!
Health, happiness, peace & love my friends! May God smile on you today!!! :)
