30 or 33 radiation treatments & chemo...I hate pancreatic cancer!!!

To say I am disappointed that the pancreatic cancer is back is the understatement of the year...I am angry and pissed off that the oncologist did not just do some chemo when I had surgery. Why the hell not??? I went through agony having the surgery, so why not just as a little insurance, do a round of chemo or radiation...don't let it come back and then go oh, we'll do it now...too late!!! Now they are telling us that there is a VERY slight chance the radiation will get rid of the cancer, the hope is to shrink and maybe put it in remission for a while, but the cold hard truth is I probably only have a couple of years to live. And all because they were so confident that they had gotten all of the pancreatic cancer...well evidently there was a cell somewhere.

Sorry to sound bitter, but I guess I am, I will get over it but it is gonna take a while.

I miss all my friends on facebook, but I have not felt well and sitting at the computer does make my ab & side hurt more. Hopefully, I will not get toosick from the radiation & chemo and I can get back on here more often. I have just been curled up sleeping a lot, my energy is gone, I struggle daily with my appetite...weight is at 120.7 last time I was weighed, so it is very important to not lose anymore. 

Okay, here is the grand plan for my treatment. Today I finish the simulation, they will make sure marks are in right place, do the tattoos then I will be ready to start. On Wednesday I see the regular oncologist then 2 hours later I will have my 1st radiation treatment and I start taking the chemo pills, they are taken on the days I have radiation.
So for the next 6 weeks I will be radiated & take chemo Monday thru Friday off Saturday & Sunday...FUN????? I am NOT looking forward to this experience!!!

Sorry my side is really starting to hurt so I am going to say good bye for now and I will update everyone soon. Please remember to be thankful for everything you have and all the people who love you, be especially thankful for your health you never know when you could lose it!!!  Health, happiness, peace & love my friends...