Can't sleep so thought I'd blog...don't know where this is going to go. :)

This has been the way it goes for months, I wake up anywhere from 11:30pm to aound 2am and it is impossible to go back to sleep. I am used to getting up at 2 with Steve on workdays to make his lunch and have coffee with him before kissing him goodbye and seeing him off to work, but I used to be able to lay back down and watch a little tv and fall back to sleep. But not these days, when my mind starts thinking I cannot get it to stop...I think about ALL sort of things, from death, to  what is going to happen to Steve & Janie, should I start to identify the personal items I want to leave to loved ones, should I just give the stuff to them now while I am alive or should I record  it and let Steve handle it later??? Questions, questions, questions that seems to be all there is anymore...What should I do about this and what should I do about that. And once it starts it takes forever to cut it off.

Even tho I could not sleep, I don't feel to bad considering it is the day after the 5th iv chemo infusion, of course it is still early but so far so good...just mild nausea, which was controlled by meds and my constant companion "fatigue". Just keeping my fingers crossed that the "chemo diarrhea" does not come this time!!!  :0

I am going to take a short break and start a load of laundry and maybe see if I can eat something, I have found if I can make myself eat a little something the nausea is not as bad, I took something for it about an hour ago, so now is a good time to try to sneak some food in.                

Okay one load of laundry in the washer, ate 1/2 baked chicken breast sandwich and a container of blackberry yogurt...yum, yum!!  Boy was I glad that I made the Shephard's pie yesterday before chemo, it sure was a quick and easy dinner last night...just reheat in the microwave and a home cooked meal. I have decided that in the early morning when I feel better I am going to go ahead and cook...by the evening and dinnertime I am usually to exhausted to do anything so I am going to cook ahead, put it in the fridge and/or freezer. I guess I should have been doing more of this before now, but to be perfectly honest I just have not felt like it, but oh well better late than never. Now who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? :)  In fact when I finish blogging I am going to make a small pot of chicken noodle soup, which always hits the spot after chemo. My food wants are very limited right now, every time I eat I have abdominal pain and some foods of course are worse than others, some foods are to be avoided at all costs and some I can have just a little. Then there are the sneaky ones that hurt sometimes and sometimes not, I think sometimes what is eaten together helps also. I eat a lot of yogurt because it seems to help soothe "the old gut" and of course my meals are much smaller and more frequent.

I  guess the baked chicken is doing its job, I am getting a little tired so I think I am going to close for now and lay down for a while before I make my soup. I want to leave you with this, remember to tell those you love that you love them and how much they mean to you, we always take for granted that everyone knows how we feel, but believe me to hear it or read it always gives you a warm feeling. Be thankful for everything you have been blessed with, these days so many people are struggling to just survive...

Health, happiness, peace & love my friends...May God smile on you today!!!  :)