no title just rambling...how it all began...

I thank God my primary care doctor listened to me and did not brush me off as another woman with aches and pains that wanted to complain. The beginning of my "war" with pancreatic cancer began April 2, 2010. It was a sunny Friday, I was feeling terrible that morning and I had a nagging pain under my left ribcage going around into my back. My chest just did not feel right, so I called my husband to come home and take me to the emergency room. My initial thought was I was having a heart attack. When we arrived at the hospital, after what seemed like an eternity we were taken into a cubical. The nurse asked the usual questions, filled out more paperwork and started getting me hooked up...then she went to attend another patient. I had not even gotten settled when the nausea started...followed quickly by throwing up. Long story short, I was admitted and transferred to the "heart patient floor", it was already around 9pm so not a lot was done that night, saw a couple doctors, nurses, lab techs and tried to get some sleep. The following morning it was on, the tests were just beginning. I had not had a heart attack but had to do a stress test before I could go home. Also, after talking to one of the many doctors, they also decided to do an abdominal ultra sound. The stress test was ok, nothing wrong with the heart, but inflamation showed up in some lymph nodes in the stomach area. A few hours after the stress test, I had the ultrasound. The ultrasound showed no gallstones, but "sludge" in the gall bladder. After talking to 2 cardiologists it was determined I would be released from the hospital, to have an Echogram and Gall bladder scan as an outpatient,(as I do have a-fib). Echo was clear and good, gall bladder scan showed basically the same thing "sludge" in the gall bladder and inflamed lymph nodes. Fortunately for me, I had a regular scheduled appointment with my pcp on April 9th. I relayed what had been happening and she decided to run some more labs, since my pancreatic enzymes were off at the hospital. When the results came back the enzymes were still off so she ordered a ct scan, the ct scan showed a solid mass in my pancreas.
The day after the ct scan I received a call from my doctor, telling me about the mass which they thought was a tumor and she wanted me to have an MRI the next day, then bring my husband for a 5pm appt. the day after the MRI. So you really start to get the feeling that you are not going to get good news. When she opened the door to the examine room, I knew, it was bad...just the way my doctor looked, she is a very attractive woman who is always put together and polished, but not that day...her hair was sticking up, her lipstick was gone and she was pale and looked very sad. She relayed that there was indeed a mass in the pancreas and it was very unusual to have found it because it was in the body of the pancreas, which is usually the ones that kill you, because you have no symptoms until it is to late. In my case the mass was on the bile duct thus causing the nausea, throwing up, bowel changes, and pain that I had been experiencing. She had spent most of that day, talking to the oncologist in Winchester and was told to not waste my energy, don't send me to them there was" nothing they could do for me". They referred her to a surgeon at UVA, that was outstanding in the field of pancreatic cancer surgery and he was the only chance I had, if he decided I was a candidate for the surgery. Sorry, but I am getting very tired I will continue with the surgeons appointment but I have to say goodnight for now.