I just got pushed off the ledge....damn pancreatic cancer...

Of course it is the worst that it could be... pancreatic cancer is back and I have to start radiation and chemo, bloodwork every week and see the oncologist every 2 weeks unless I need her sooner. I go Friday for my first appointment with the doctor that is going to be doing the radiation. I have not had the flu I guess all the illness and throwing up are due to the pancreatic cancer, that is why I feel so bad all the time. The pancreatic enzyme markers that they check were high, so there is really no doubt even without the biopsy.

There is a small chance that the radiation and chemo will get rid of it but she emphasized small chance, but it is do the treatment and hopefully I will feel better or do nothing and it will just get worse. I am not happy with this news and I certainly had hoped that I would get more quality time than this. I really do not know what to say other than I am in a very bad place right now and I hope everyone understands that it is just very hard to deal with all this, I mean one day I felt ok and was doing fine and the next everything had changed. I am not surprised because of the way I have been feeling, but I sure wish that I had been wrong on this.

I will try to keep in better contact with you all. I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes. I do not know how sick the radiation and chemo are going to make me so it will depend on my energy level.

Please remember to be thankful for your health, live your life to the fullest and be kind to others.